"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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