I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There r osticjed everywhere
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
