Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He did a backflip because drugs
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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