WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
