We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
