have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fuck appropriateness.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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