Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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