Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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