he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
