Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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