i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
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I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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