Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
