I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
