I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
