You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
