just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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