My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
