I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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