What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize