I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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