I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
