I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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