That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I've blown a few things in my day
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize