how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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