You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she peed on how many people?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
