Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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