I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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