There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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