No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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