You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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