trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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