O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
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