we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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