So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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