I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
