Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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