I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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