I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
