is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
