The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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