He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dear god my vagina.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
