Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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