I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
