Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
