My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
