More tranny stories later!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize