Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
