your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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