dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
