he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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