She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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