I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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