i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
