Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You're a waste of cheezeits
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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