God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
