I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
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Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
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My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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