You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
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You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
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I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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