Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
