Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
