We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
