dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
