I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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